Filia 2021 conference was f***ing great wasn't it?

This blog is a bit sweary, if that offends you, please don’t read any further. Please read the ‘not sweary’. version.

I was one of about ten men among more than a thousand women at the Filia conference in Portsmouth this weekend. In that space, women are fucking sweary, with good reason!

Contrary to the views of the people protesting outside, the conference wasn't all about the fucking trans/womens rights issue. Actual fucking was discussed. Forced fucking, coerced fucking, paid for fucking, the pregnancies which arise from fucking; and consensual fucking between women was on the agenda. Along with all the other fucking issues that the women at conference wished to fucking complain about and offer solutions to

Many of the solutions involve me, men, my sex class, shutting the fuck up for a bit, standing the fuck aside and letting women get the fuck on with it.

You may be aware of Heisenberg’s uncertainty principle. That you cannot observe something without changing it. I as a man, can never know what a women-only space is actually like. Re Heisenberg, as soon as I am in that space, it is no longer women-only. I, by being there, have changed it. Though I think I now have a better understanding of it, having spent a couple of days in an overwhelmingly female space.

One thing I noticed about this 99% womens space, is that it can be fucking sweary.
I have two possible reasons for why this is...

1. There is a social norm or stereotype about womens behaviour and language, about being demure, well-behaved and ladylike. Away from the male gaze, and attempted or real male control, there is a freedom, no-one is there to say "You can't fucking say fuck all the time, it's not fucking ladylike"

2. And I think this is overwhelmingly the most important reason.

Women are fucking angry. Absolutely fucking livid.

To paraphrase any number of conversations I had or heard over the weekend…

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We are angry that these fucking men keep finding new ways to fuck with us.

We've been fucking telling them, fucking demanding, since the 60s, 70s, for fucking ever. Every time we think we are making some fucking progress, some new fucking thing comes along. Some new fucking way to do the age old thing. To take away our fucking rights, our spaces, our voices and our fucking control over our own fucking bodies. And abusing, raping and fucking killing us. All the fucking time.

For Fucks Sake!

But this time it is being done by beardy fucking ‘woke’ men claiming to be so caring and ‘being fucking nice’, and then claiming to be doing it for us rather than to us, and all in the supposed fucking name of feminism.

And every fucking time we stand up and complain about it, we are either vilified, ostracised, fucking belittled or sidelined, told to not be so fucking hysterical and finally, fucking ignored.

Well we’re fucking sick of it. It stops now. We will fight it, and keep fucking fighting it, all the fucking way until it is fucking stopped.

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Honestly fellas, and anyone who wasn’t there, who may never have heard women speak out like this (or have ignored it). This is actually what it was like a lot of the time.

I had a great weekend. I do like a bit of well-directed rage, and between the raging, it was a really good laugh and very interesting.

I don't really 'identify' as a politician. I am a fairly lowly Labour local councillor. Women from all parties were at the Filia conference, and complained of their struggles within all of the parties to be listened to on these issues.

I will make sure that, in every decision I make, personally or as part of the Labour group in Merton, that we take account, and really consider the actual lives of the women we seek to represent. Half of the electorate.

One of the best things which could happen, I think, is that actual politicians, those more influential than me; MPs, MSPs, AMs, Peers, Council leaders, and especially people in leadership positions (Keir, I am fucking looking at you), could witness or otherwise come to realise the extent of this fury. And take note. And change. Or fucking lose.